As of today, I have been unattached for almost two years. Unattached, in my humble opinion, means that I have not had been actively a part of a functioning relationship with a guy. I’ve learned a lot over these last two years, the biggest lesson I have learned is this:
I am done dating.
The World (society) teaches young girls that to meet your Prince Charming, you have to kiss a lot of frogs, pour all you are into the frogs, and then be rejected OR reject the frogs. Society also teaches that the only way to process this experience is to jump into the next relationship and the past experiences suddenly disappear.
I say all of this from experience. I’ve been attached to guys that I through every single aspect of myself into, been rejected by / rejected the guy, and jumped into the next relationship with visible battle scars. The past experiences did not disappear, they just got pushed down further and further into my subconscious.
It wasn’t until over a year ago that I started processing my years and years of dating. What I have concluded is that it is not in God’s character for His children to waltz through life, and in their in own strength and discernment pick their lifelong partner. I know this because the Bible tells me so in the following passages:
- “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” Proverbs 19:14 (Emphasis added)
- “Haven’t you read,” he (Jesus) replied, “that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:4-6, Mark 10: 6-9 (Emphasis added)
I also know God places high importance on marriage. Countless times in His word, there are analogies made about Christ being the bridegroom and The Church being the bride (John 3:29). And, Reader, I am sure you know what Jesus did. He died for His bride so to save her for eternal death. And then He rose and went to the right hand of the Father (Mark 16:19). In scripture, it also says that Jesus is coming back for her, as it is written in Revelation a few times (Sporadically throughout chapters 18 – 21).
These reasons I mentioned above are the reasons why I am done dating. I don’t want to waltz through life, nerviously choose a husband, and be forever questioning whether or not it was meant to be. I want to be sure that God is being blessed and honored in my marriage. I want to be vunerable with a man who will support and encourge me. I want to want to submit to my husband, not do it because the Bible tells me to.
I do not want anymore battle scars.
So, what steps am I taking? I’m asking fo patience and guidance from the Lord. I’m talking with my pastor about pre-courting couneling. I am done hooking up with guys to “numb the pain” of wanting intimacy. And lastly,
I. Am. Done. Dating.