If you have been around me at all over the last two months, I’ve been coming off as a little…..aggressive as it relates to my home church.(which I won’t publicly name but if you know, neat). In my quest to align myself to what, who, and where Jesus wants for me, I have been working to
judge investigate other Christian institutions.
I’ll be transparent with you, my beloved Reader, with why I’m doing this.
I want to start over.
You may be asking a few questions and saying something things such as:
“Why do you want to start over?”
“You can start over at *name of church* !”
“We really need you here at *name of church* because you are so good at talking to people!”
I’m sure there are more questions and comments but at this point in time I can’t think of anything else.
I want to be Angela, not Angie. I don’t want people to know who I was, I want people to know who I want to be. I want to serve at a place where I can be apart of growth. I want new memories, not to be bogged down by old memories.
I want to point out, I don’t think my home church is doing anything wrong per se and the changes that have been occurring are neat and I think Jesus is blessing it. I feel a very deep emotional connection to my church, all of you are truly my church family.
But there is always a but….
I’m not happy. I know a lot of my distress is internal. Possibly making up a lot of arguments to justify my decisions.
I just do not have complete confidence that I have the support to seek the Lord where I’m at.
What I have decided to do is make an Excel sheet of a few different places that I have an interest in checking out.
So far, I only have one church on it because believe or not, some church doesn’t have the basics easily available on their website. As I progress through my searching, I’ll post an updated version to give you an idea of what I’m doing.
Here is what I’m looking for in a church:
- All different ages of people (families, singles, married)
- An actual church building (Not campus ministry)
- Has small groups (lady Bible study, college Bible study)
- Kickin’ worship (but I don’t want to feel like I’m at a concert)
- An opportunity to serve. (Guys, I want to lead stuff).
- Has some depth (I’m not interested in Seeker-Friendly stuff. Like New Life)
- An opportunity to meet people who love the Lord and can support and challenge me. (This is what I really really really want)
To conclude, I’m feeling led to do a lot of things, but two as it relates to church: Stay or search. God keeps bringing me back to my home church. Some would say that maybe God is wanting to be stay, but I say that I keep going back due to the community being my family. Those who I attend church with, you’ll still see me. I’ll still be around, but right now, I’m on a quest to get the spiritual fillings I need. I’ll continue to do my service (Pancakes) and I’ll still be around to do meet new people (it’s a thing I like to do). I just want to see what else is out there.
I also want to point out again, I’m not angry. I’m not hurt. I’m not feeling excluded. None of me feelings are particularly negative. I’m growing. Sometimes growth involves moving on and seeking new opportunities.
Something I happen to know a lot about.
Thanks for reading. If you have any comments, suggestions of places to check out, comment below!